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Literature Text
Then everyone but me turned to see the bride. They gasped as they gazed at her. I, however, watched the groom. I expected to see a light. Some sort of gleam in his eye. Some indication that he was the happiest man in the world at that exact moment. Instead I seen black holes. I saw blank expressions. I saw a shell of a man.
But then I turned to the bride. She moved with an aura that made you just want to look at her. Long wavy, blonde hair falling in her face, hiding her face. Her posture, slow and robotic, yet so precise. Every step deliberate and purposeful. She face straight ahead, holding the skirt of her dress in one hand and a bouquet in the other. The dress was plain, with a small bit of ruffling near the skirt. It was strapless to show off her plain, untouched skin. She walked past, averting the gaze of anyone watching, until she got to me.
I was met with green eyes that peered into my soul. Her expression remained blank until our eyes met, then I seen a small smirk. She looked down and continued on, not missing a step.
There the bride and groom stood. Emotionless. Awkward. Rehearsed.
“Do you take Abigail to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
Abigail…
“I do.”
“Do you, Abigail, take Matthew to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“Do you ever wonder where we’d be if we lose each other?”
“I choose not to think about that…”
“I told you…”
“Told me what?”
“That I needed you”
The seconds after the question were like choking me. I looked at the woman next to me. She seemed genuinely happy. Smiling in anticipation. Smiling with that mask. She was an impostor. An illusion that stole probably years of my unsuspected self. She was she. She was not you.
I had left without you.
I had a life now.
You had a life now.
Lives existing without each other.
“I do.”
You met my gaze from the altar as you tore my heart to pieces.
I watched you kiss a stranger after promising the rest of your life to him. I watched you as you walked down the aisle together painted with a happiness that screamed it was fake.
You two walked out of that chapel, as everyone clapped, pleased with your facade. They all exchanged handshakes and polite greetings. She crept away from me in the abyss of people. I pushed through them, avoiding speaking to a soul.
The sun was bright and blinding. Just outside of the chapel seemed eerily quiet, with the faint sound of chatter inside. The pond was still and calm as I stood on the dock. Sweat creeping out of my pores, the sun taking over my pupils, I stared into the water. All was quiet and I was officially alone.
My reflection stared tauntingly back at me. I didn’t exactly feel regret. It felt like watching a horror movie. Two strangers caught in a life or death fight. It’s meant to invoke emotion. Thought. But I didn’t have it in me. I stared back at my reflection emptily, and then a figure appeared me in slight ripples.
“Well, look, you actually came back,” I turned around to see you face to face. Your veil was removed, but you still hid behind your hair. Your high heels were replaced with your combat boots. Your dress was wrinkled, and you weren’t bothering to fix it anymore.
“I sure didn’t mean to…”, I was staring my past right in the face. So many years, so much time invested, so many feelings, all wrapped up into one, big, complication.
You didn’t say anything else, nor did I. We both didn’t have to. We stood together, eying the past with lustful and hesitant eyes.
“Are you happy?”, I asked, turning my gaze to the dock.
“Are YOU happy?”, you said accusingly.
Suddenly, I felt like a criminal when I’ve done nothing wrong. It felt like a stupid, but legitimate question. Technically, I should have been grateful. I didn’t have to suffer through months of torture as your engagement period increased. I didn’t have to watch you two, happily together. I’ve been away, and felt like I knew nothing about who you were now, but somehow I was still entitled to your heart.
I knew to tread lightly, this was a one way road and I could not take back anything I say here.
“Can you help me get these off?”, you said, itching at the pearls that hugged your throat.
I didn’t say a word as I got behind you. I eyed the hook of the necklace beneath your hair, I brushed it over your shoulder lightly, careful to barely touch your skin with my fingertips. I felt you tense and shudder beneath my touch, as I revealed the all-too-familiar winged birthmark on your shoulder blade. I unhooked your pearls with one swift motion as your necklace fell into your hands. We lingered like this for a moment. I was close enough to smell the scent of cigarettes radiating off of you, to feel your aura enticing me to come closer.
I had to wonder where your new husband wandered off to. Why you were here with me instead of hurrying off to some sort of honeymoon suite. It honestly felt irrelevant right now. I left, and left with reason. You stayed, and stayed with reason.
I lingered in the curve of where your neck met your shoulder, both of us anticipating what won’t happen. My lips staying just a few inches from your skin as it formed goosebumps. Complications and questions filling the air quicker than answers. I knew that I could leave here anytime. Life would go back to normal. No further harm would be done. I could run away again and never look back once. It’d be easier. It’d be safer. It’d be more responsible.
Just a few more seconds of this feeling, and I swore I’d walk away forever.
Then you leaned back slightly and whispered in my ear.
“It should have been you.”
Then I closed my eyes with the realization that it just wasn’t that easy.
But then I turned to the bride. She moved with an aura that made you just want to look at her. Long wavy, blonde hair falling in her face, hiding her face. Her posture, slow and robotic, yet so precise. Every step deliberate and purposeful. She face straight ahead, holding the skirt of her dress in one hand and a bouquet in the other. The dress was plain, with a small bit of ruffling near the skirt. It was strapless to show off her plain, untouched skin. She walked past, averting the gaze of anyone watching, until she got to me.
I was met with green eyes that peered into my soul. Her expression remained blank until our eyes met, then I seen a small smirk. She looked down and continued on, not missing a step.
There the bride and groom stood. Emotionless. Awkward. Rehearsed.
“Do you take Abigail to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
Abigail…
“I do.”
“Do you, Abigail, take Matthew to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“Do you ever wonder where we’d be if we lose each other?”
“I choose not to think about that…”
“I told you…”
“Told me what?”
“That I needed you”
The seconds after the question were like choking me. I looked at the woman next to me. She seemed genuinely happy. Smiling in anticipation. Smiling with that mask. She was an impostor. An illusion that stole probably years of my unsuspected self. She was she. She was not you.
I had left without you.
I had a life now.
You had a life now.
Lives existing without each other.
“I do.”
You met my gaze from the altar as you tore my heart to pieces.
I watched you kiss a stranger after promising the rest of your life to him. I watched you as you walked down the aisle together painted with a happiness that screamed it was fake.
You two walked out of that chapel, as everyone clapped, pleased with your facade. They all exchanged handshakes and polite greetings. She crept away from me in the abyss of people. I pushed through them, avoiding speaking to a soul.
The sun was bright and blinding. Just outside of the chapel seemed eerily quiet, with the faint sound of chatter inside. The pond was still and calm as I stood on the dock. Sweat creeping out of my pores, the sun taking over my pupils, I stared into the water. All was quiet and I was officially alone.
My reflection stared tauntingly back at me. I didn’t exactly feel regret. It felt like watching a horror movie. Two strangers caught in a life or death fight. It’s meant to invoke emotion. Thought. But I didn’t have it in me. I stared back at my reflection emptily, and then a figure appeared me in slight ripples.
“Well, look, you actually came back,” I turned around to see you face to face. Your veil was removed, but you still hid behind your hair. Your high heels were replaced with your combat boots. Your dress was wrinkled, and you weren’t bothering to fix it anymore.
“I sure didn’t mean to…”, I was staring my past right in the face. So many years, so much time invested, so many feelings, all wrapped up into one, big, complication.
You didn’t say anything else, nor did I. We both didn’t have to. We stood together, eying the past with lustful and hesitant eyes.
“Are you happy?”, I asked, turning my gaze to the dock.
“Are YOU happy?”, you said accusingly.
Suddenly, I felt like a criminal when I’ve done nothing wrong. It felt like a stupid, but legitimate question. Technically, I should have been grateful. I didn’t have to suffer through months of torture as your engagement period increased. I didn’t have to watch you two, happily together. I’ve been away, and felt like I knew nothing about who you were now, but somehow I was still entitled to your heart.
I knew to tread lightly, this was a one way road and I could not take back anything I say here.
“Can you help me get these off?”, you said, itching at the pearls that hugged your throat.
I didn’t say a word as I got behind you. I eyed the hook of the necklace beneath your hair, I brushed it over your shoulder lightly, careful to barely touch your skin with my fingertips. I felt you tense and shudder beneath my touch, as I revealed the all-too-familiar winged birthmark on your shoulder blade. I unhooked your pearls with one swift motion as your necklace fell into your hands. We lingered like this for a moment. I was close enough to smell the scent of cigarettes radiating off of you, to feel your aura enticing me to come closer.
I had to wonder where your new husband wandered off to. Why you were here with me instead of hurrying off to some sort of honeymoon suite. It honestly felt irrelevant right now. I left, and left with reason. You stayed, and stayed with reason.
I lingered in the curve of where your neck met your shoulder, both of us anticipating what won’t happen. My lips staying just a few inches from your skin as it formed goosebumps. Complications and questions filling the air quicker than answers. I knew that I could leave here anytime. Life would go back to normal. No further harm would be done. I could run away again and never look back once. It’d be easier. It’d be safer. It’d be more responsible.
Just a few more seconds of this feeling, and I swore I’d walk away forever.
Then you leaned back slightly and whispered in my ear.
“It should have been you.”
Then I closed my eyes with the realization that it just wasn’t that easy.
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